Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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