Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
