And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
