I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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