A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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