Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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