new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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