didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
