1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
