hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
