I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
