you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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