don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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