he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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