I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just sucked dick on a ferry
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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