if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
