Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
