He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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