We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
