He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
