Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
