I bet he comes in French.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
