wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
