listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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