I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
