I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
