with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
