Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I will die if light touches me.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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