i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
