No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
