I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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