I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
