I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
