so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
