i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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