He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
