i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize