Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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