didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
