At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
