Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
