I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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