found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
