And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
