Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
