I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
People in love make me want to vomit
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
