i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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