if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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