Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
