i just had sex bonerless
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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