I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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