Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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