I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
