Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
