found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
