he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
