We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize