when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
