you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
