Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
