We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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