So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
