hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
