they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
